And people wonder why I’m still single

While standing in the queue to board the Panjim bus, a hot and snazzy guy boarding the bus caught my attention.  I slurped and sighed and boarded the bus myself a few minutes later.  I found my seat with some difficulty as my bags weighed me down and made me look like the ugly version of Atlas carrying the globe on his back. Along with my seat I found the hot, snazzy guy sitting next to my seat.  Perhaps, I slurped a little too loud and God was feeling generous.  And to my surprise, he got up from his seat and helped me settle the globe I was carrying on my back in the cabinet. I took a good look at myself, in my mind’s eye, saw a very tired face, worn out hiking boots, dull and faded jeans and to complete the look I wore an ugly sweatshirt with a Kangaroo pouch. I couldn’t get more unfashionable than this.  Usually I douse myself in perfume thus, inflicting unconsciousness to others and self.  As my luck would have it, this time I didn’t even bother to wear a Deo.  I wore a look of an old hag and sheepishly sat next to the snazzy guy.  Gosh! He smelt great.

Evan_a_cool_dude_by_SilverDeni

I turned my face away to avoid contact.  The snazzy guy was also a gentleman as I witnessed just a few minutes ago.  So he initiated the conversation, “too much traffic today eh?” and waited to hear my sweet voice or I would like to think so. Then I croaked timidly, “I know” looking away and suddenly showing a lot of interest in “what’s happening in the world outside the bus.”

After a long awkward pause I mustered the courage to say:

“So, are you from Goa?”

Snazzy guy: “No going on some work and you?”

Me: “Going to attend a workshop on Reptiles”

Snazzy guy: “Wow!”

I scored some points here, I thought.

He continued “you know I have two Turtles at home?”

Before he could finish I said “you know it’s illegal to have Turtles as pets right?”

His face fell at once.

So my score went down to 0 while his score was at 10

To make up for the damage caused I asked: “what do you feed them?”

To which he replied: “dried prawns and chicken sometimes and they seem to love it”

Without much delay I added, “there is a rehab center I know.”

Snazzy guy interrupted me mid-sentence and said “I have no intentions of giving them away, just in case” still being polite

With this he was at 11 and I was at -1

Me: “No, I mean, at the rehab center Turtles eat vegetables and fruits, that’s what I was going to say.”

After this debacle I decided to shut my mouth and save myself some rude comments.

I know I have damaged the teeny-weeny chance of coming across as a nice person beyond repair.

After an awkward silence of 30 minutes or so, looking outside the window, deep in thoughts, I decided to blabber again. After all, he was good looking.

Me: “So, what do you do?”

Snazzy guy: “I’m an industrial designer.”

Me: “That’s cool! You must be a creative person!”

Finally something nice and sweet, phew!

So my score shot up to 0 and his to 12 for the industrial designer thingy, whatever that was.

Me: “what do you have to do as a designer?”

Snazzy guy: “We create plastic models for…”

I didn’t let him finish and blurted once more, “you know plastic is not good for Earth right?”

Just then the conductor appeared out of nowhere and handed us plastic bottles of water.  He timed it very well, I must say.

I said no thanks to the conductor and looked at the snazzy guy waiting for his response.

Snazzy guy took the bottle with a lot of discomfort. However, he didn’t drink the water from the bottle in my presence.

And that’s how I murdered my last chance of coming across as a nice person.

And then people wonder why I’m still single.

I was only too glad that he didn’t swap his seat.

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26 Comments

  1. Good one. Most of the people in this world put down their chances of being a nice person… you always have more opportunities and you let the opportunity slip out of your hand every time. A lesson to learn….

  2. Prabhakar 😀
    Maddy always learning… 🙂
    Aruna thank you sweetheart! 😀
    Sanjith1 I will keep writing for sure, I just hope this will not repeat… 😉 😛
    Mohan ha ha… such is life… 😀

  3. Hey girl loved every bit of it 🙂 very interesting and sometimes its OK to be single to meet interesting dudes like this 🙂

  4. Hey Mamta, this post just made me smile looking at my laptop while working in the office! I hope no body saw me just staring at my laptop and giving a smile ! Beautifully crafted lines. Good Luck for your future write-ups! You just made my evening glow, hell out of this busy office work!! Thank you.

  5. I am not sure why people smiled reading your lines. I just busted with a laugh. Thanks god there are cubical wall surrounding me or it would have been very embarrassing situation for me.
    (Oh GOSH, I am in danger of becoming your fan. Second page I am visiting and already giving second comment ???)

  6. Great stuff Mamta! All of it! Wonderful pictures…wonderful experiences…wonderful time. Feels good to come across someone who does what she loves. My friends think i’m crack when I decide to travel solo. I pity them, for they know not what they’re missing. In this fast paced world people just tend to overlook what nature has to offer. Keep at it missy! All the best!!

  7. funny writing.but no worries.you didnt pretend.i am putting it in OSHOs words.” Dont become just be “. Nice to be with girls are plenty around.but you are taming horses girl !!!

  8. You are a good narrator.You narrated your interesting story very nicely and kept me curious to know what happened next till the very end of story.

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